


By Moonlight Returned

by Suzie_Shooter



Series: Musketeers Series 3 Episode-Specific Fics [7]
Category: The Musketeers (2014)
Genre: Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Related, Episode: s03e07 Fool's Gold, Established Relationship, Fear, Guilt, Loyalty, M/M, Sharing a Bed, Unconditional Love, Understanding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-17
Updated: 2016-07-17
Packaged: 2018-07-24 14:50:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7512400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Suzie_Shooter/pseuds/Suzie_Shooter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Porthos told Elodie that he once ran away from the battlefield. This is the story of what happened that night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By Moonlight Returned

The burning torches at the edge of the French camp were guttering and smoking in the same fitful gusts of wind that were making the tents slap and heave like living beasts. Porthos blinked smoke out of his eyes, quietly grateful for the stinging fumes. His red eyes and damp cheeks would hopefully be taken as nothing more than a side effect of the smoke, assuming he encountered anyone else at all. At this time of night everyone who could, would be sleeping.

As if he'd conjured him up, a sentry loomed out of the darkness and demanded the night's password before recognising Porthos and biting the words off in embarrassment. Porthos reassured him his diligence was admirable, then promptly tore a strip off the man for having allowed Porthos to get this far into the camp from outside without being challenged.

Porthos strode off, guilt burning in his gut. He had no memory of leaving the camp, the last few hours were all a blur. They had been stumbling from the field of battle, half-deafened by the roar of the artillery when a kind of madness had descended upon him. The mud and the blood and the choking, relentless fear had suddenly become too much, and he'd found himself fleeing for his life and sanity.

He'd finally come to himself in a silent forest glade, having stumbled into a stream up to his ankles. The bright moonlight on his face had brought Porthos back to his senses, and he discovered to his shame and confusion that in his overwhelming funk he'd run miles away from the camp.

For the barest moment Porthos considered the fact he could just keep going, but even as he turned the idea of flight over in his head he was already walking back the way he had come.

Using the moon as his guide, Porthos trudged back towards the camp, feeling sick with remorse and self-loathing, that he should have abandoned his friends and his duty in this way.

Arriving back at the encampment Porthos half expected to be arrested for desertion and by this point would almost have welcomed punishment for his deeds. But it seemed that no one had even noticed he'd gone, and feeling scoured to the very soul Porthos stood alone in the dark on the slippery ground between the tents and considered what to do. 

Eventually, numb with cold and guilt, he ventured to one of the tents in particular and pushed back the flap.

"Athos?" he called quietly.

The huddled shape lying in the cot bed stirred and half sat up. "Porthos? Is that you? Where did you get to, I was looking for you earlier."

"Oh, just around," Porthos said vaguely. He'd intended to confess all, but suddenly found he couldn't bear to. To disappoint Athos was more than he could stand.

"Is everything alright?" Athos asked, and Porthos realised he'd been standing there without speaking for some seconds. He came right in, and moved towards the bed.

"Would you mind if I slept in here?" Porthos asked in a low voice. "I - I find I don't want to be alone tonight."

"Of course." Athos pushed back the covers immediately, and Porthos hurriedly shed his outer clothing and climbed in beside him. 

They'd shared a bed on numerous occasions since going to war. At first this had mostly been for the purposes of sex, but as the hard grind of the months had passed, it was now more often than not simply for warmth or comfort. In any case Athos found nothing strange in his request, and Porthos was glad of his unquestioning welcome.

Gradually, lying next to Athos' warm body, Porthos felt some of his rigid tension slip away. He became aware that he was shaking slightly, and Athos must have noticed too because he took Porthos into his arms without a word.

Porthos pressed against him gratefully until they were as entwined as two people could possibly be, and let out a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry," he whispered.

"What for?"

Porthos lost his nerve. "Nothing. Doesn't matter."

"Are you okay?" Athos whispered, holding him tight and rubbing Porthos' scalp comfortingly with his fingertips.

"Yeah. Course," said Porthos gruffly, and Athos said no more, just continued caressing him with gentle hands and pressing occasional kisses to his forehead.

After a while, Porthos sighed. "Can I ask you something?" he said in a low voice.

"Of course."

Porthos hesitated, but the darkness and Athos' secure embrace invited confidences.

"Do you ever get afraid? I mean - bone freezingly, gut wateringly petrified, so bad you want to run away from it all and just keep running?" he asked under his breath.

"On the battlefield you mean?"

"Yeah."

"I suppose. Maybe. Once every - " Athos considered. "Five minutes?"

Porthos gave a snort of suppressed laughter. "Coward."

"Yeah," said Athos softly, and Porthos could feel him smiling against his cheek.

"You're still here though?" Porthos ventured after a moment.

Athos hugged him closer. "So are you," he whispered.

Porthos cleared his throat. "Where else would I be? Don't be daft." 

They lay quietly a while longer, then Porthos pressed a kiss to Athos' mouth. "Thank you," he whispered.

"What for?" asked Athos sleepily.

Porthos shied away from explanations. "I dunno. Being you, I suppose."

Athos smiled, and returned the kiss. "If only all praise was earned so easily."

Porthos laughed then. "Shut up and go to sleep," he ordered. 

"As you wish." Athos closed his eyes with a smile, and they slept soundly in each other's arms for the rest of the night.

\--


End file.
